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Stop Faking, More Coming

Based on a study featured on ABC News, about 75 percent of all women never reach an orgasm from sexual intercourse ALONE and 15 percent of women never have an orgasm PERIOD! (ABC News Orgasm Study)


To the men that's currently reading this, the last woman that you had sex with probably faked her orgasm. And to the women currently reading, you probably faked your orgasm with the last guy you had sex with. Tough-Pill-To-Swallow lmao. 

Here's an interesting story. A few weeks ago after work I went on a date, a cool restaurant/lounge in Manhattan, with a guy whom I was interested in. The vibes were positive and the conversation flowed effortlessly. Now it may have been the drinks, hookah, and/or the fact that he was a free-spirited and outspoken Sagittarius like myself lol, but somehow the conversation ended up about sex and orgasms. He confidently made a comment about how good he was in bed and his reason was based on the number of women he gave orgasms to (which are most guys' reasoning). Well-aware of the bubble I was about to bust, LOL, I informed him that most of the women he had sex with faked their orgasms. Once he used woman's body shaking and the panting of "i'm coming, i'm coming" as evidence to these orgasms reached, I knew my sentiments were correct.
So for experimental reasons and to further examine my point, I asked the woman sitting next to me (yes a complete stranger) when was the last time she had a "real orgasm". At first she looked at me with the "oh my God did she just ask me that" face and was hesitant to answer, but after explaining why I wanted to know she admitted that it was 3 MONTHS prior. Then, I asked her when was the last time she "faked it" and she answered a few DAYS prior. Case-in-point! Boyyy you should have seen the look on my date's face! Priceless! Lmao.

Obviously ONE woman's answer is not enough to prove the point for millions of other men and women having sex, but it proved the point I needed to make at that moment. 

Now we've all seen the restaurant scene in the movie "When Harry met Sally" in which Sally fakes an orgasm to make a point, correct? (If you haven't you should) Well that is precisely how it happens. However, based on the conversation I had with my date, I started to believe that the problem is some men really think that women faking their orgasms DOESN'T happen with THEM! Welp. I guess i'll be the first to tell you that MOST women have successfully mastered the art in faking an orgasm. As OBVIOUS it is to some people, there are still many people who are OBLIVIOUS to this.
Now here's the the good news and my point. WOMEN DO NOT HAVE TO HAVE ORGASMS EVERY TIME WE HAVE SEX IN ORDER TO CONSIDER IT "GOOD SEX"! While reaching an orgasm is optimal and the goal, sex can be considered GOOD without it. For example, there were many times a guy rocked my world but I didn't cum. Was the sex bad and pointless? Not at all. But it just wasn't "enough" to reach my magical "O". Make sense? Here's proably why:

The ABC study included that 98 percent of men "always" reach orgasms. Scientifically, men procreate by means of ejaculation. Therefore, men NEED to ejaculate in order for a women to become pregnant. BUT, women DO NOT NEED to ejaculate in order to get pregnant. So technically speaking, a man's ejaculation/orgasm is imperative for procreation while a woman's ejaculation is simply "decoration" (haha totally made that up).

Does that mean MEN DON'T fake it?? Absolutely not! I'm sure there are men who fake it as well. Reasons i've seen are because of bad sex or simply because they want to go to sleep LOL. 

So with that being said, the magical question here is how would men EVER know a woman really had an orgasm if she can literally FAKE every aspect of it? Honestly, men would never know lmao. If an orgasm is what a women wants then it is up to her to be HONEST and communicate if she came or not and stop trying to put the man's EGO over her PLEASURE. That way, both parties can come up with ways to help the women reach her magical "O" because believe ME, it's possible haha.

So there you have it. HUGE DISCLAIMER TO THE WOMEN: After reading this men may try extra hard to make you cum, allow them to. They're "ahead"... all puns intended LMAOO

Is dating single parents the new thing?

Before I became a parent to my son 5 years ago, I would NOTTT date or have relations with a man who had children. Not under any circumstances. If I found out a guy had kids, I immediately gave him the boot. Was that fair? Probably not lol. The last thing on my mind was sharing someone's attention and dealing with another man's mean ass children and crazy ass childrens' mothers. I thought about the impending and inevitable drama that would arise from a situation like that and I wanted NO PARTS! 

Well 5 years later here I am, mother to a 4 year old and currently dating as a single woman. If my son wasn't planned, i'd call it karma for all of the men with kids I turned down years ago haha. 

Nevertheless, the exact opposite of my karma happened. Now, dating a single parent is totally normal! (And to some, attractive) Nowadays, if you're older than 21 it's almost inevitable that you'll come across and date a single parent once in your life, if you aren't already a single parent yourself.

Correct me if i'm wrong, but growing up as a teenager 10 years ago, I distinctively recall that being a young single parent was like a STIGMA in dating. Finding out someone had a child was a red flag, stop sign, and siren for "hell no run the other way" because u knew damn well they were looking for a step-parent for their kid lmao (there's some people who still think this way). But now, dating a single parent seems to be better accepted.

  1. More people in this generation have children out of wedlock and at a younger age so the chances of becoming a single parent are higher. For example, now we literally have every combination of single parents in our emojis! (see below if you've never seen them)
  2. More people in this generation are generally more open-minded and have disregarded older norms and traditions.
  3. The acceptance and number of blended families have increased (i.e stepparent, half-brother, half-sister, etc) 
  4. This generation has sexualized the idea of single parents! (i.e coined terms M.I.L.F, D.I.L.F) I'll allow you to google it if you don't know what it means :-)

Personally, I have no preference in whether a man has a child or not (NOW right haha). There are pros and cons to both situations. For example, if a man is an ACTIVE parent in his child's life (keyword here is active), may signify the patience, experience and understanding in being a PARENT versus a man who isn't a parent. However, a man with a child can also have ACTIVE "baby momma drama" and no one wants that! Lmao. There really isn't a correlation between being a good man or good woman and being a parent so I don't really prefer one or the other as long as that person is good, you know?

So. If you're into someone and fall for them and they happened to have a child, then why not remain open minded and give it a shot? You never know. 

Isn't it similar to dating and falling for someone who's everything you've dreamed of, then finding out they have never been to college? Would you give them the boot for something that you can possibly overlook? Probably not. 

Is what the world can't see, NOT reality?

My grandma who raised me, is a 60 something retired woman who is very invested in the events that occur in my life, especially on social media. Which is just a fancy way of saying, she is nosey as hell and a bonafied lurker! lmao. So a few weeks ago, I received a phone call from her asking me if I dropped out of my Graduate Masters program. I told her no and asked her where she got that idea and she tells me "because I haven't seen you post anything about it on your instagram"....
First thought that came to my mind is i'm unfollowing this old bat asap lmao, my second thought was do I post that much?? And my third thought was are my grandma's thoughts, what everyone feels???

It's not a secret that Social Media sites such as Instagram, Snapchat, Twitter, and Facebook have become a major part of our society and culture. We literally take photos and videos of almost every moment that occurs in our lives and share them with the rest of the world. Literally....

Wake up, post. 
Driving or on public transportation, post.
At work, post. 
Go to lunch or dinner, post.
Go to school, post.
Headed to the club, post.
At the club, post.
Drinking, post.
At a show, post.
Go on vacation, post.
Hanging out with your children, post.

Don't worry I think most of us are guilty of it Lmao. But then, there are some people who post SO MUCH that we know everything about their life. So much, that eventually we know shit before they even post it!

Eventually, some people become absorbed with other individuals' lives BASED on what they post... or at least what they THINK their life is, based on posts. For example, Someone posts their children all the time? We think they're a great parent. Someone posts their relationship? We think their relationship is perfect. Person posts vacation trips every other month? We think they're incredibly wealthy. 

Now all of those things could be true. But the point here is does posting it automatically make it TRUE? Let's be frank, we all know someone who posts things but their life is exactly the opposite of what they post... like "cmon bro we know that's yo momma's car you're flexing with" haha. 

And let's say you're someone who DOESN'T post every moment of your life, IS WHAT THE WORLD CAN'T SEE, NOT REALITY?? If you NEVER post your children, does that make you a bad parent? If you never post vacations, does that mean you never go on them? If you never post your significant other, does that mean you're not happily in love? 

Of course not! But with social media theoretically being "leaders" in our society nowadays, what the world see's has been made to be correlated, or connected, to what's REALITY!

I don't ever want you guys to believe I hate social media or think it's absolutely negative, because it's not! But I do think we have to remember to use it IN MODERATION and not every moment, every day. Let's remember to leave some curiousity and mystery to our lives... Can't kill the cat that way :)

Happy New Year! Here's to 2017!

Happy New Year everyone! I want to wish all of you blessings, well-wishes, prosperity, good health, and POSITIVITY for 2017! As a writer, it's very cliche of me to say that THIS year is going to be "MY"year lol, but I will say that I EXPECT and am optimistic that this year will be better than the last in all aspects. And I expect the same for all of you! 

About 2 weeks ago I wrote my list of goals for 2017 and one of my goals is to WRITE MORE. So I intend and look forward to doing just that. Furthermore, i'm excited for all of you to read my new material. If I can initiate at least one cry, laugh, sigh, eye-roll, or jaw-drop then I have done my job here lmao.

Here's to 2017!!! 😃😃😃

Giving Head could never be like going to the Dentist's

My birthday was a week ago so as a gift to myself, I decided to get a teeth whitening. Unfortunately for me, I was told that I could not get the whitening treament until I got a teeth cleaning. So, I called up a dentist office in the area where I work and luckily there was an appointment available. The last time i've been to the dentist was a few years ago when I had to get a tooth extracted. I am NOT a frequent dentist visitor because i'm terrified of them. I think most of us are no? Lol. I digress. 

After work, I attended my 5pm appointment and the receptionist tells me that I have to get X-Rays because I am a new patient in that office. Okay cool. I can do this. Let's do it! 

I don't know how long ago it's been since you guys visited the dentist, but now x-rays are taken electronically in which a small rectangular piece has to be placed in the mouth to take a picture of each tooth. First tooth. Did it. Second tooth. Did it. Third tooth. Did it. THEN the technician placed the piece into the BACK of my mouth to take a photo of my molars and he unleashed the worst gag reflex! My eyes spread open and in tears, i'm thinking WTF is this!!?? In the great words of Kevin Hart, I wasn't readyyy! After he apologized and asked me if I was ready, he stuck the piece in again and I gagged... AGAIN! I was so appalled! And thinking out loud, I accidentally said OUT LOUD "GIVING HEAD DOES NOT FEEL LIKE THIS!" The X-Ray technician awkwardly laughed and cleared his throat and says "well i'm sure!" Top 20 embarrassing things that occurred in my life thus far by the way. Lmao.

Before the men of the world go on and start judging, let me be the first and sure not the last to say that giving head to a man is not as easy as giving it to a woman. Try sticking a banana all the way down your throat and let me know how comfortable that is lmao.

Anyway. Ehm. Ehm. (clears throat... no pun intended) lmao. 
So why is that someone who rarely chokes and gags during oral SEX, severely gags and chokes during an oral dental X-RAY procedure?? Here's MY hunch and where I get a little scientific. HEAR ME OUT... 

I came up with the The Pleasure versus Non-Pleasure factor

When a woman is giving oral sex, she's NOT paying attention or focusing on the sensitivity of her gag reflex because providing pleasure is the focus at that moment for both her and her partner. But when you're in the dentist office getting tools put in the back in your mouth (especially if you hate the dentist) the focus at that moment is being uncomfortable and nervous. NOT pleasure. Hence, the gag reflex feeling overly sensitive. 

Furthermore, the gag reflex is exactly that - a REFLEX. And "reflex" is defined as "a response in a part of the body to stimulation of another corresponding point in the body". In the examples I provided, the gag reflex is present for both oral sex and X-rays. So my theory is that the stimulation of pleasure during oral sex outweighs being uncomfortable. Whereas, there is no pleasure present during x-rays. Just being uncomfortable.

Think of it with an activity you like to do. I'll use dancing because I love to dance Lol. When you're at the club dancing, you don't notice how tired you are or how achy your body is because AT THE MOMENT, the focal point is having fun. But the minute you join a dance class that you've never tried before and are around people you've never met, your focus is not having fun but probably being nervous. So much, that you won't perform as good and you'll begin to notice how tired and achy your body starts feeling! 

And you can apply this to all aspects in life! Not just oral sex and dentists haha. When you ENJOY or like doing something, you'll find yourself being better at it than things you DON'T enjoy doing. 

So there you go. Although your mouth is poked and prodded for both (ALL puns intended) lmao, giving a man head could never ever ever ever ever be like going to the dentist. At least only for those who enjoy head and don't enjoy the dentist. Haha. 

TOP 10 Most Annoying TATTOO Questions

I got my first tattoo after I graduated high school when I was 17 yrs old. A small peace sign on my inner right wrist and the Sagittarius symbol on the other side of my wrist. I BEGGED my grandma to get those tattoos. "Ma I got my high school diploma. I'm about to be 18 and go to college. Can I pleaseeeee get one *crosses fingers behind back* I promise I won't get anymore!" Lmao. 15 tattoos later, i've fallen VICTOR to the tattoo addiction lifestyle and the sweet sound of a tattoo gun and i'm still getting more. (Love you ma!) LOL.

BUT. You know what really grinds my gears? The QUESTIONS that COME with a fresh work of ink. I'm sure all of my fellow tattoo wearers AND TATTOO ARTISTS can relate. They include:

1. Did it hurt? 
See the thing about this question is, every one has a different pain threshold and takes pain differently. So what may hurt for you, may not hurt for someone else. Therefore it's POINTLESS to ask. But I get it. That person may be curious about what's to come. Annoying part is when you say "Yes", they don't believe you and when you say "No", they don't believe you. So just answer this question with, "THE NEEDLE GOES INTO 1MM-2MM LAYER OF SKIN, PUNCTURING THE SKIN 50- 30,000 TIMES PER MINUTE. Of course it doesn't hurt :)

2. What does it mean/symbolize?
Just answer this question with "IT'S A CLEVER VISUAL METAPHOR USED TO PERSONIFY THE ABSTRACT CONTRAST OF THOUGHT'. I got this from the show Spongebob Squarepants. Trust me. Gets em' every time. Lmfao.

3. How much was it?
I think people ask this question hoping you'll say somthing cheap like $20. SMH. A good QUALITY tattoo is going to cost money. YOU-GET-WHAT-YOU-PAY-FOR. Save up for something nice. I mean it is on your body for LIFE.

Kay's Theory of Replaceability

Kay's Theory of Replaceability: The more accesible options someone has, the less they think they have to lose so it's more likely they'll replace what they currently have.

How quickly do you replace something? When it's old? Broken? When you feel like it? 
How quickly do you replace SOMEONE? When their old? Broken? When you feel like it? 

The definition of "Replaceability" is the quality or state of being capable of exchange. That part I didn't make up Lol. We all rememember Beyonce's song "Irreplaceable" right? "To the Left, To the Left.. don't ever get to thinking you're irreplaceable" Lmao. Well that's exactly the point. 

It's in our human nature to always want more or better. More money. Better house. Better. car. Best wife or husband. And it's fine to want the "Best". BUT THESE days, since anything can be replaced with EASE, people are replacing everything and not realizing when it's BEST to STOP replacing even though what they currently have can be PLACED AT BEST. Makes sense or did I lose you? LOL. Let me elaborate. 

Woman love PORN too & 6 reasons we do

PORN PORN PORN. Four letter word people are afraid to talk about next to LOVE lol. I have watched PORN since I was 15 years old. Even BEFORE I lost my virginity. Captivating isn't it? In fact, studies show that 1 in 3 WOMEN watch porn weekly and OVER HALF (55%) of women watch it monthly. Nice little statistic for you :)

The reason I began writing is because I love to talk about all of the AWKWARD and UNCONVENTIONAL things people don't like to talk about. It's also part of my job as a writer to do research on what I write about so that i'm not providing any false information to my readers. I digress.

Think back to the first time YOU watched porn. If you were born in the 80's or 90's like me, most likely you watched it on a VHS tape lmao. And if you were born after 2005, most likely you watched it online for the first time. MY first time watching porn was when I was 15. I was home alone in my uncle's room looking for the Jurassic Park movie on VHS and picked up a tape with a blank cover. I put it in the VCR and rewinded it all the way but not TOO much that I had to watch the previews. When I pressed play, I saw full frontal of a woman on her knees. I was like WTF??!! *cue the surprised emoji* LMAO but I didn't stop the tape. I kept watching it in awe. The rest is history!