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9 ways to deal with Rejection aka the Wicked CURVEBALL

In the game of baseball, a curveball is thrown by the pitcher with the intent that the batter won't HIT.
Well in the game of DATING, a curveball is thrown by someone with the intent that YOU won't HIT!
Another one of Kay's famous analogies haha.

When someone rejects you, or what in New York City has been coined the term "curves" you, is embarrassing, sometimes heart-breaking, and terrible. It can happen when you're dating OR if you're already in a relationship with someone. Sometimes it happens unexpectedly and unfortunately it seems to always happen when you REALLY like someone. Bottom line is no one likes to get curved lmao. Nonetheless, it happens to the best of us! MEN AND WOMEN. (Yes women get curved too)

For instance, I vividly remember being thrown my first "curveball" lol. When I was in my first year of college 8 years ago, I used to see this guy on the train who I thought was the flyest and cutest thing walking. I wanted him bad! You know when you form a crush on someone you see ONCE so you pray and hope to see them again!? Well it was like that. I began seeing him from 1-2 times a week and eventually began seeing him daily. After what felt like forever of trying to muster up the confidence to talk to him, I finally did and said a corny "HI DO YOU RIDE THIS TRAIN OFTEN?" like I didn't notice the fact that he saw me staring at him almost every day lmao! Long story short, he told me I was pretty but too tall for his taste (i'm 5'11) and that wicked curveball lead to a STRIKE OUT! I was so hurt to the point where I started asking higher powers why I was cursed with height LOL. I eventually got over it with the help of a guy who saw my height and thought I was the sexiest thing walking, and I never questioned my height again :)

So to help others with rejection AKA the wicked curveball, I came up with 10 ways to deal with it: 

1. Don't disrespect or curse out the person who rejected you. I understand being rejected hurts but disrespecting or cursing someone out only shows how hurt you really are. Instead, tell the person something like.. "I still think you're amazing anyway", smile, and walk away! Trust me on this lol.

2. Don't have sex or get into a relationship with the bestfriend of family member OF THE person who rejected you. It screams "fatal attraction", desperate, and comes off as you settling for the person closest to them. There is too many people in the world for that. I understand the world is small and there is a possibility of it happening but c'mon now lmao. 

3. Don't beg! There's a difference in SHOWING someone you care about them and begging. Rule of thumb is if you have asked at least THREE times, that's it! IDC what The Temptations said about it. IDC if Urkel got Laura after 10 years. Shit nowadays if you ask TOO many times may cause you to get a restraining order and/or handcuffed (and not the good kind) lmao.

4. (Speaking of restraining orders...) Don't stalk them! Ever! Yes that includes following them home! LOL.

5. Don't share your rejection on Social Media. Period. Write your feelings in a journal or something instead lol.

6. Share your feelings of rejection with a close friend or family member. There's nothing like that good ol' conversation with possible laughs to help cheer you up.

7. Release your rejection-frustration into an outlet you love to do (i.e dancing, painting). It'll take your mind off of it. 

8. Remember that IT'S NOT YOU! Everyone has a preference. You just may not be THAT person's preference. But it doesn't mean that you aren't good enough entirely.

9. Despite previous rejection, don't allow it to stop you from future endeavors with future love interests. "If at first you don't succeed, dust yourself off and try again!"

As harsh as this may sound...being rejected is a part of LIFE. And it's definitely a part of dating. I mean the ultimate goal in dating is to find someone who is perfect for you, right? So you have to understand that you may have to "STRIKE OUT" and go through a few people who aren't perfect, in order to find YOUR perfect. Make sense?

Learn how to lose in the "First Half", so you can apppreciate winning in the "Second Half". Take your time.... baseball has no game clock :) 

Stop Faking, More Coming

Based on a study featured on ABC News, about 75 percent of all women never reach an orgasm from sexual intercourse ALONE and 15 percent of women never have an orgasm PERIOD! (ABC News Orgasm Study)


To the men that's currently reading this, the last woman that you had sex with probably faked her orgasm. And to the women currently reading, you probably faked your orgasm with the last guy you had sex with. Tough-Pill-To-Swallow lmao. 

Is dating single parents the new thing?

Before I became a parent to my son 5 years ago, I would NOTTT date or have relations with a man who had children. Not under any circumstances. If I found out a guy had kids, I immediately gave him the boot. Was that fair? Probably not lol. The last thing on my mind was sharing someone's attention and dealing with another man's mean ass children and crazy ass childrens' mothers. I thought about the impending and inevitable drama that would arise from a situation like that and I wanted NO PARTS! 

Well 5 years later here I am, mother to a 4 year old and currently dating as a single woman. If my son wasn't planned, i'd call it karma for all of the men with kids I turned down years ago haha. 

Nevertheless, the exact opposite of my karma happened. Now, dating a single parent is totally normal! (And to some, attractive) Nowadays, if you're older than 21 it's almost inevitable that you'll come across and date a single parent once in your life, if you aren't already a single parent yourself.

Is what the world can't see, NOT reality?

My grandma who raised me, is a 60 something retired woman who is very invested in the events that occur in my life, especially on social media. Which is just a fancy way of saying, she is nosey as hell and a bonafied lurker! lmao. So a few weeks ago, I received a phone call from her asking me if I dropped out of my Graduate Masters program. I told her no and asked her where she got that idea and she tells me "because I haven't seen you post anything about it on your instagram"....
First thought that came to my mind is i'm unfollowing this old bat asap lmao, my second thought was do I post that much?? And my third thought was are my grandma's thoughts, what everyone feels???

It's not a secret that Social Media sites such as Instagram, Snapchat, Twitter, and Facebook have become a major part of our society and culture. We literally take photos and videos of almost every moment that occurs in our lives and share them with the rest of the world. Literally....

Wake up, post. 
Driving or on public transportation, post.
At work, post. 
Go to lunch or dinner, post.
Go to school, post.
Headed to the club, post.
At the club, post.
Drinking, post.
At a show, post.
Go on vacation, post.
Hanging out with your children, post.

Don't worry I think most of us are guilty of it Lmao. But then, there are some people who post SO MUCH that we know everything about their life. So much, that eventually we know shit before they even post it!

Eventually, some people become absorbed with other individuals' lives BASED on what they post... or at least what they THINK their life is, based on posts. For example, Someone posts their children all the time? We think they're a great parent. Someone posts their relationship? We think their relationship is perfect. Person posts vacation trips every other month? We think they're incredibly wealthy. 

Now all of those things could be true. But the point here is does posting it automatically make it TRUE? Let's be frank, we all know someone who posts things but their life is exactly the opposite of what they post... like "cmon bro we know that's yo momma's car you're flexing with" haha. 

And let's say you're someone who DOESN'T post every moment of your life, IS WHAT THE WORLD CAN'T SEE, NOT REALITY?? If you NEVER post your children, does that make you a bad parent? If you never post vacations, does that mean you never go on them? If you never post your significant other, does that mean you're not happily in love? 

Of course not! But with social media theoretically being "leaders" in our society nowadays, what the world see's has been made to be correlated, or connected, to what's REALITY!

I don't ever want you guys to believe I hate social media or think it's absolutely negative, because it's not! But I do think we have to remember to use it IN MODERATION and not every moment, every day. Let's remember to leave some curiousity and mystery to our lives... Can't kill the cat that way :)

Happy New Year! Here's to 2017!

Happy New Year everyone! I want to wish all of you blessings, well-wishes, prosperity, good health, and POSITIVITY for 2017! As a writer, it's very cliche of me to say that THIS year is going to be "MY"year lol, but I will say that I EXPECT and am optimistic that this year will be better than the last in all aspects. And I expect the same for all of you! 

About 2 weeks ago I wrote my list of goals for 2017 and one of my goals is to WRITE MORE. So I intend and look forward to doing just that. Furthermore, i'm excited for all of you to read my new material. If I can initiate at least one cry, laugh, sigh, eye-roll, or jaw-drop then I have done my job here lmao.

Here's to 2017!!! 😃😃😃

Giving Head could never be like going to the Dentist's

My birthday was a week ago so as a gift to myself, I decided to get a teeth whitening. Unfortunately for me, I was told that I could not get the whitening treament until I got a teeth cleaning. So, I called up a dentist office in the area where I work and luckily there was an appointment available. The last time i've been to the dentist was a few years ago when I had to get a tooth extracted. I am NOT a frequent dentist visitor because i'm terrified of them. I think most of us are no? Lol. I digress. 

After work, I attended my 5pm appointment and the receptionist tells me that I have to get X-Rays because I am a new patient in that office. Okay cool. I can do this. Let's do it! 
I don't know how long ago it's been since you guys visited the dentist, but now x-rays are taken electronically in which a small rectangular piece has to be placed in the mouth to take a picture of each tooth. First tooth. Did it. Second tooth. Did it. Third tooth. Did it. THEN the technician placed the piece into the BACK of my mouth to take a photo of my molars and he unleashed the worst gag reflex! My eyes spread open and in tears, i'm thinking WTF is this!!?? In the great words of Kevin Hart, I wasn't readyyy! After he apologized and asked me if I was ready, he stuck the piece in again and I gagged... AGAIN! I was so appalled! And thinking out loud, I accidentally said OUT LOUD "GIVING HEAD DOES NOT FEEL LIKE THIS!" The X-Ray technician awkwardly laughed and cleared his throat and says "well i'm sure!" Top 20 embarrassing things that occurred in my life thus far by the way. Lmao.

Before the men of the world go on and start judging, let me be the first and sure not the last to say that giving head to a man is not as easy as giving it to a woman. Try sticking a banana all the way down your throat and let me know how comfortable that is lmao.

Anyway. Ehm. Ehm. (clears throat... no pun intended) lmao. 
So why is that someone who rarely chokes and gags during oral SEX, severely gags and chokes during an oral dental X-RAY procedure?? Here's MY hunch and where I get a little scientific. HEAR ME OUT... 

TOP 10 Most Annoying TATTOO Questions

I got my first tattoo after I graduated high school when I was 17 yrs old. A small peace sign on my inner right wrist and the Sagittarius symbol on the other side of my wrist. I BEGGED my grandma to get those tattoos. "Ma I got my high school diploma. I'm about to be 18 and go to college. Can I pleaseeeee get one *crosses fingers behind back* I promise I won't get anymore!" Lmao. 15 tattoos later, i've fallen VICTOR to the tattoo addiction lifestyle and the sweet sound of a tattoo gun and i'm still getting more. (Love you ma!) LOL.

BUT. You know what really grinds my gears? The QUESTIONS that COME with a fresh work of ink. I'm sure all of my fellow tattoo wearers AND TATTOO ARTISTS can relate. They include:

1. Did it hurt? 
See the thing about this question is, every one has a different pain threshold and takes pain differently. So what may hurt for you, may not hurt for someone else. Therefore it's POINTLESS to ask. But I get it. That person may be curious about what's to come. Annoying part is when you say "Yes", they don't believe you and when you say "No", they don't believe you. So just answer this question with, "THE NEEDLE GOES INTO 1MM-2MM LAYER OF SKIN, PUNCTURING THE SKIN 50- 30,000 TIMES PER MINUTE. Of course it doesn't hurt :)

2. What does it mean/symbolize?
Just answer this question with "IT'S A CLEVER VISUAL METAPHOR USED TO PERSONIFY THE ABSTRACT CONTRAST OF THOUGHT'. I got this from the show Spongebob Squarepants. Trust me. Gets em' every time. Lmfao.

3. How much was it?
I think people ask this question hoping you'll say somthing cheap like $20. SMH. A good QUALITY tattoo is going to cost money. YOU-GET-WHAT-YOU-PAY-FOR. Save up for something nice. I mean it is on your body for LIFE.

Kay's Theory of Replaceability

Kay's Theory of Replaceability: The more accesible options someone has, the less they think they have to lose so it's more likely they'll replace what they currently have.

How quickly do you replace something? When it's old? Broken? When you feel like it? 
How quickly do you replace SOMEONE? When their old? Broken? When you feel like it? 

The definition of "Replaceability" is the quality or state of being capable of exchange. That part I didn't make up Lol. We all rememember Beyonce's song "Irreplaceable" right? "To the Left, To the Left.. don't ever get to thinking you're irreplaceable" Lmao. Well that's exactly the point. 

It's in our human nature to always want more or better. More money. Better house. Better. car. Best wife or husband. And it's fine to want the "Best". BUT THESE days, since anything can be replaced with EASE, people are replacing everything and not realizing when it's BEST to STOP replacing even though what they currently have can be PLACED AT BEST. Makes sense or did I lose you? LOL. Let me elaborate.