Sunday, July 26, 2015

Chemistry Versus History or BOTH

Have you ever noticed how you speak to a NEW woman/man that you're interested in versus a woman/man whom you have history with??? Let's examine it:

Speaking to a new woman/man:

"Hey gorgeous. How was your day today? You blow my mind away. I want to make you laugh. I want to make you happy. Your ex is lucky. I'm looking forward to getting to know you! I would love to take you on a date! Can I please take you out? Okay speak to you later beautiful."

Speaking to ex or person whom you have history:

"Wassup. What u doing. Oh okay. Wanna go out. It's whatever. Thats cool. Oh ok. Ttyl." 

Seem familiar? LMAO.

In the past I wrote a post about newness (Check out False Feelings of Newness). To reiterate, us humans love NEW. A new woman/man. New feelings. New attention. New sex. For the most part (Not always) men go for newness and seek out a new woman when shit isn't going good in their relationship, more than women would. But we all love a new-new. It's the "grass seems greener on the side" thing I was talking about.

How does it happen? Let's examine again. To not cause any confusion during the story lol, we'll call the heart broken girl "Sarah", the ex "John", and the new guy "Bobby".

John breaks Sarah's heart again and Sarah breaks up with john. Sarah is hurt and wonders why John can't see the beautiful and wonderful person she really is. So Sarah goes to the bar to have a drink. Bobby who also is dealing with hurt from his past notices Sarah walk in and sit at the bar. He's struck by her beauty and walks up to her. Bobby makes her laugh and smile and asks if he can sit down and talk with her. Sarah agrees. Bobby also notices that Sarah looks sad and asks what's wrong. Sarah tells Bobby how John is the father of her children and that he hurt her, and doesn't understand why he doesn't see how wonderful she really is. Bobby tells Sarah she is a wonderful mom, that she will be just fine, and that John is stupid for letting her go. Bobby makes Sarah laugh some more and they both distract one another from the stress and pressure of their past. Sarah taken by Bobby's charm and distraction from John, gives Bobby her number and she leaves the bar. The end. Lmao.

Now how many people do you know have encountered this? On ANY side of the spectrum of this story. Too many! Most likely yourself! Shit it happened to me as well lol. And it happens on social media as well. So the question would be: Why do NEW people notice how wonderful someone can be but the ex or "old" person can't see it??

Does like a fucking barrier or shield come up that two people in a relationship become blind of one another? Lmao of course not! But when you're going through shit in a relationship, ANYONE on the outside SEEMS better.

So is everyone who is in a relationship want someone new?? Absolutely not! I have friends and family members who have a 5 year+ relationship and are still very happy. But the point is that if you are in a relationship, you have to understand that bad times will happen. And as long as it's not deal breaking like cheating, you can get through it. You just have to be about that ONE person you're with and not seek other options when shit is going bad. 

Friday, July 3, 2015

L.O.V.E.

I didn't realize that the order in which these photos were taken, tells the most beautiful story ever. These photos sum up what LOVE is to me. No matter what occurs in my life, I will continue to make sure this young man can always look up to me and will pick him up whenever need be. L.O.V.E.
1.
2. 
3. 
4.

Monday, June 29, 2015

#LOVEWINS


"No union is more profound than marriage, for it embodies the highest ideals of love, fidelity, devotion, sacrifice, and family. In forming a marital union, two people become something greater than once they were. As some of the petitioners in these cases demonstrate, marriage embodies a love that may endure even past death. It would misunderstand these men and women to say they disrespect the idea of marriage. Their plea is that they do respect it, respect it so deeply that they seek to find its fulfillment for themselves. Their hope is not to be condemned to live in loneliness, excluded from one of civilization's oldest institutions. They ask for equal dignity in the eyes of the law. The constitution grants them that right."

#LOVEWINS

LOVE ALWAYS WINS.

Sunday, June 28, 2015

Can you DEAL the Cards you're Dealt?


I remember my co worker and I got into a general discussion about life. He asked me "Do you think life is PREDICTABLE?" My initial answer was YES because at the time I felt like a person IS in control of their own life. If you want a good education? You can do that. If you want to be addicted to drugs? Start doing drugs and it will happen. But then as we continued the discussion, I started thinking about my own life.... and that made me have an entirely different answer. LIFE ISN'T PREDICTABLE AT ALL. Curse you Cesar (my co worker) lmao.

So is life really unpredictable?? I hate cliches but is the saying "You deal with the cards you are dealt" true? Or is it more true to say "It's not about the cards you are dealt, but how you play the hand"? And if so, how do you stay positive dealing with a "hand of cards" that you are given?


Quick Anecdote: I was 21 and still in college when I had my son. Because I immediately went back to school while trying to raise a newborn child and didn't take a semester off, I failed out and was placed on probation. Moreover, I was in a turmoil on-and-off relationship with my son's father that I in no way, asked to go through. Long story short i'm now 24, I graduated college with honors, have a great job, and I have an amazing son who turns 3 in two months. While it seems like I have a "fairytale" ending, my relationship did not flourish and I ended it earlier this year due to his infidelity. Something that was out of my control because I didn't ask to raise my son in a single-parent household. However, that was the cards that were given to me and I played my hand. Did I predict my life to turn out that way? Absolutely not. But the best part is that i'm still very young and still learning to "play different hands" and remain positive throughout.

So no you cannot predict life. Anything can happen that you may not ask for. You can ONLY play the BEST hand with the cards you are dealt and remain positive about the outcome. I mean there are 52 cards in the deck LOL so the possibilities are VAST!

Friday, June 26, 2015

False Feelings of Newness

I've been dating for a few months now. And i'm learning so much about myself and more of what I want in a guy. But what i've learned the most is this simple lesson: Once you PAST the "Newness" and "honeymoon stage" in a relationship and you STILL feel happy and in love afterward? You may have found someone worth sticking around for a long time or even forever. How? Let's See. 


The hardest part of a relationship is staying and dealing with someone AFTER the "newness" feeling fades away. I mean come on. How many of us loveeeee that feeling of being with someone new who gives us the butterflies-in-stomach feeling?! You stay on the phone with them for 5 hours at a time. You text them all day every day. You spend like a hundred hours kissing. And the SEX is awesome. But how long does that newness feeling last? Realistically not long because eventually flaws start to show and you get sick of someone's shit. Not only do flaws start showing, but when you're in a relationship with someone for a really long time (about more than a year and a half), you become comfortable. You become content. And the sad truth is you also become BORING. We are human. We all do it. No matter how bad you try to fight the thought. In a long-term relationship, one person or both people in the relationship become so comfortable and boring that they forget how to be the person that their partner fell in love with, so they start seeking it elsewhere. 

More than half of the time, that is why cheating occurs (not saying I condone any cheating because you guys know how I feel about it LOL). 

So are the those "newness" feelings we get at the beginning of a relationship merely false feelings?? Maybe. It's not all that bad if all you're looking for is fun and sex. But I feel like it becomes detrimental when you confuse those "newness" feelings for LOVE, when you know it's just LUST. Or when you leave your "oldie-but-a-goodie" for a "NEW" thing, thinking shit will be better.

SO here is a simple solution. Try BEING with someone for YEARS and learn all their flaws beforehand before you call it true love. 

If not, just enjoy the "newness" for what it is while you have it :-) 

Friday, June 19, 2015

25th Fridayyyyy of the Year

The day we all look forward to every week.........
Happy Friday Everyone!!!
And i'm glad to say we have finally reached the 25th FRIDAY of 2015! Almost half way through the year guys! NICE!
So I hope you guys enjoy your friday as much as I am. Get some drinks! Get to the dancing! Spend it with family or friends! And LIVE! :-)
Hahaha Saw This Downtown in the City and Loved it

Thursday, June 11, 2015

Today's Look & the Secret to Looking Good

Today while me and my friend were doing some light after-work shopping, we got into a debate about who requires less money to buy an outfit: Men or Women.

Honestly, I don't know howwwwww he thought MEN are cheaper to shop for when it's a known fact that women can go into a store with $50 and buy an entire outfit. Meanwhile, $50 is how much men spend on a GOOD pair of pants!

Now I have to be fair and share his side of the debate. He stated that women SPEND MORE on an outfit because they don't utilize or entertain cheap clothes that are out there because they won't look good...... -__- BULLSHIT! LMAO

Sorry men, but unless it's an occasion that requires it (i.e. wedding) or a woman who is very high maintenance, MOST women do not and will not spend more than $50 on an outfit. When I told him that, he was like "Really???!!! GET THE F**K OUT OF HERE!!" Hahaha

Us women want to look good and the point is to LOOK LIKE we spent hundreds of dollars on an outfit, without actually spending that much. We spend the most money on our shoes, hair, and nails. This has been a secret for women everywhere for yearssssss! You heard it here first so thank me later :-) lmao

To prove my point, I told him that the outfit I currently had on only cost me $40 at H&M. (by the way the more our debate continued, the more his eyes widened lol) Here's the breakdown:

Basic Top: $6.99
Black Maxi Skirt: $12.99
Sandals: $19.99 (on sale)

= $40

And VOILA! Here it is! Does it look like I spent $40? No because it's not supposed to. And yes he price matched what I said to online prices LOL


Now what I WILL give him is that most of us women have a shit load of CLOTHES!!! Way more than men. Which is probably the fuss lol idk. 

& THERE YOU HAVE IT! Some of the secrets to women. There's about 1 million more to learn lmao. In the meantime, men go give your women money to go shopping. Don't try to give her the outfit minimum of $50 though because then your women will debate with you for a month. Don't blame me LMAOOO :-D

Tuesday, June 9, 2015

Norms of Social media H-I-A-T-U-S


If you guys remember, last year I posted about my 3-month Social Media Hiatus which was very liberating and successful. By the way, when I say "Social Media" I mean Facebook because I don't have Twitter, Snapchat, or Instagram :-P

So two days ago, I decided to deactivate my Facebook and go on another hiatus for a longer period of time, and probably for good.... I haven't decided yet LOL. And while I've been just fine about it.... OTHER people literally go crazy and ask me a million questions when they find out I don't have it anymore. As if it's NOT a norm to have social media. WTF? Then I thought about it. When you meet someone new, besides what's your name and where are you from, what question is almost ALWAYS asked: What's your Instagram/Facebook? 

Now the question is: In 2015 if you don't have social media, why are you considered crazy or some sort of social outcast? I mean you SHOULDN'T be. But based on people's reaction, i'm starting believe that's exactly what it is. Why do I think that? Let me tell ya'll what happened to me on the train on my way home today.

I ran into an old acquaintance from college who I lost contact with. We were talking and catching up on life and then he asked...."What's your Instagram?" I told him I didn't have an Insta. So then he asked.... "Ok so what's your name on Facebook?". When I told him I recently deleted my FB, he LITERALLY asked me "SO HOW DO YOU TALK TO PEOPLE?" UMMMMMM REALLY GUY???? LMAO When I thought he couldn't turn me more off with such a stupid ass question, he says "You have social media, you just don't wanna talk to me" -___- Yup his shrewd comments turned me all the way OFF and I left him at peace out.

Now i'm not saying EVERYONE is engulfed in social media because that's not true. I've met women and men who aren't into it. But MOST people do have some sort of social media and look at others who don't as "different". I mean I get it. It is 2015 and social media is a part of our culture. But what people are forgetting more and more is that it's not JUST our culture. There's way more to LIFE than "posting" and "liking". I promise.

While a hiatus may not be for everyone, I think everyone should at least try it. Try 4 hours. Then 1 day. Then 1 week. Then even 3 months. And while you're on your Hiatus, LIVEEEEEE life WITHOUT "posting". Some may find it easy, but there are people out there who can't live a damn minute without it LMAO. Keep calm. It'll still be there hahaha.

Let me know how it goes :-D