Have you ever noticed how you speak to a NEW woman/man that you're interested in versus a woman/man whom you have history with??? Let's examine it:
Speaking to a new woman/man:
"Hey gorgeous. How was your day today? You blow my mind away. I want to make you laugh. I want to make you happy. Your ex is lucky. I'm looking forward to getting to know you! I would love to take you on a date! Can I please take you out? Okay speak to you later beautiful."
Speaking to ex or person whom you have history:
"Wassup. What u doing. Oh okay. Wanna go out. It's whatever. Thats cool. Oh ok. Ttyl."
Seem familiar? LMAO.
In the past I wrote a post about newness (Check out False Feelings of Newness). To reiterate, us humans love NEW. A new woman/man. New feelings. New attention. New sex. For the most part (Not always) men go for newness and seek out a new woman when shit isn't going good in their relationship, more than women would. But we all love a new-new. It's the "grass seems greener on the side" thing I was talking about.
How does it happen? Let's examine again. To not cause any confusion during the story lol, we'll call the heart broken girl "Sarah", the ex "John", and the new guy "Bobby".
John breaks Sarah's heart again and Sarah breaks up with john. Sarah is hurt and wonders why John can't see the beautiful and wonderful person she really is. So Sarah goes to the bar to have a drink. Bobby who also is dealing with hurt from his past notices Sarah walk in and sit at the bar. He's struck by her beauty and walks up to her. Bobby makes her laugh and smile and asks if he can sit down and talk with her. Sarah agrees. Bobby also notices that Sarah looks sad and asks what's wrong. Sarah tells Bobby how John is the father of her children and that he hurt her, and doesn't understand why he doesn't see how wonderful she really is. Bobby tells Sarah she is a wonderful mom, that she will be just fine, and that John is stupid for letting her go. Bobby makes Sarah laugh some more and they both distract one another from the stress and pressure of their past. Sarah taken by Bobby's charm and distraction from John, gives Bobby her number and she leaves the bar. The end. Lmao.
Now how many people do you know have encountered this? On ANY side of the spectrum of this story. Too many! Most likely yourself! Shit it happened to me as well lol. And it happens on social media as well. So the question would be: Why do NEW people notice how wonderful someone can be but the ex or "old" person can't see it??
Does like a fucking barrier or shield come up that two people in a relationship become blind of one another? Lmao of course not! But when you're going through shit in a relationship, ANYONE on the outside SEEMS better.
So is everyone who is in a relationship want someone new?? Absolutely not! I have friends and family members who have a 5 year+ relationship and are still very happy. But the point is that if you are in a relationship, you have to understand that bad times will happen. And as long as it's not deal breaking like cheating, you can get through it. You just have to be about that ONE person you're with and not seek other options when shit is going bad.