Foundation of a Relationship

A safe and beautifully built house must have a strong foundation. The foundation is the first thing that is built because it has to bear the weight of the house. Foundations are also best when they are continuous under the house. If the house has more than one floor, then of course foundations must be made stronger. However, when a foundation is weak, not built well, or destroyed, the house will break and come tumbling down. You can always try to build another foundation at the same location. But since the soil has already been disturbed, you have to wait to build another one. And chances are the foundation may not be as strong as the first one. So great measures must be taken so that it will be stronger and won't fall.

This example of "home foundation" is EXACTLY how foundations in relationships work. It's a huge cliche, but it works perfectly. So perfect that if your remove the noun "house" and replace it with "relationship" in my story above, it will still make complete sense. (well besides the words soil and floor but eh you get my point LOL)

When relationships are STARTED, whether it may be from a friendship, one night stand, or dating, foundations are SIGNIFICANT AND ESSENTIAL to a long lasting and healthy relationship. And notice I underlined the word started... it doesn't matter what happened before the relationship but once it is established between BOTH PARTIES (I say both because some people can be very delusional lmao) that there is indeed a started relationship, THEN that is when shit matters.

Do not get confused though. If both people started out as friends or as a one night stand, they may already begin the relationship NOT trusting each other because they both knew how they were before it began.

But in my opinion, whatever happened BEFORE the relationship was established SHOULD NOT MATTER! Commitment and loyalty should only be honored and respected during a relationship. UNLESS, a break is taken AFTER the relationship began.

It's a lot. I know. LOL

But the point is yes a STRONG foundation is very important to a healthy and long lasting relationship. And how do you make and keep a strong foundation? The obvious stuff: HONESTY, LOYALTY, and being FAITHFUL.

Cheating, lying, and being disloyal are 99% of the reasons the foundation (AND TRUST) in relationships are destroyed. More importantly, no matter WHEN they are committed, the foundation of the relationship will crumble and the relationship thereafter.

For example, (this happens all the time): A guy and a girl are together for 8 months. About 2 months later he gets bored and begins talking to another girl behind his girlfriend's back and she begins to suspect it. She asks and accuses him of it but he denies it. She finds out the truth that he really was talking to another girl, confronts him, and finally breaks up with him. They are broken up for a while and the guy realizes he made a mistake, misses her and wins her back into his life. She forgives him and they get back together. NOW, this is where shit gets bad. Because he lost her trust and destroyed the foundation of their relationship, everything else that surrounds it may come crumbling down too. They may never get back to where they used to be. She doesn't trust him, always accuses him, and they always fight because he gets angry at the accusations. It takes patience and a long time before everything eventually gets better. If not, then it is best to move on and let the relationship go.

So the question is: Is it worth it to destroy the foundation of an entire relationship for temporary selfish reasons? I think not. THE ONLY EXCEPTION (which I don't condone cheating anyway), is if you DO NOT want to get back with that person. Then do you because you won't have anything to be sorry for later. However, think wisely about that decision because it may only be AFTER you cheat and break up with the girl, that you finally realize she was indeed "the one" and you made a mistake.

Comprende? LOL

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