Is dating single parents the new thing?

Before I became a parent to my son 5 years ago, I would NOTTT date or have relations with a man who had children. Not under any circumstances. If I found out a guy had kids, I immediately gave him the boot. Was that fair? Probably not lol. The last thing on my mind was sharing someone's attention and dealing with another man's mean ass children and crazy ass childrens' mothers. I thought about the impending and inevitable drama that would arise from a situation like that and I wanted NO PARTS! 

Well 5 years later here I am, mother to a 4 year old and currently dating as a single woman. If my son wasn't planned, i'd call it karma for all of the men with kids I turned down years ago haha. 

Nevertheless, the exact opposite of my karma happened. Now, dating a single parent is totally normal! (And to some, attractive) Nowadays, if you're older than 21 it's almost inevitable that you'll come across and date a single parent once in your life, if you aren't already a single parent yourself.

Correct me if i'm wrong, but growing up as a teenager 10 years ago, I distinctively recall that being a young single parent was like a STIGMA in dating. Finding out someone had a child was a red flag, stop sign, and siren for "hell no run the other way" because u knew damn well they were looking for a step-parent for their kid lmao (there's some people who still think this way). But now, dating a single parent seems to be better accepted.

  1. More people in this generation have children out of wedlock and at a younger age so the chances of becoming a single parent are higher. For example, now we literally have every combination of single parents in our emojis! (see below if you've never seen them)
  2. More people in this generation are generally more open-minded and have disregarded older norms and traditions.
  3. The acceptance and number of blended families have increased (i.e stepparent, half-brother, half-sister, etc) 
  4. This generation has sexualized the idea of single parents! (i.e coined terms M.I.L.F, D.I.L.F) I'll allow you to google it if you don't know what it means :-)

Personally, I have no preference in whether a man has a child or not (NOW right haha). There are pros and cons to both situations. For example, if a man is an ACTIVE parent in his child's life (keyword here is active), may signify the patience, experience and understanding in being a PARENT versus a man who isn't a parent. However, a man with a child can also have ACTIVE "baby momma drama" and no one wants that! Lmao. There really isn't a correlation between being a good man or good woman and being a parent so I don't really prefer one or the other as long as that person is good, you know?

So. If you're into someone and fall for them and they happened to have a child, then why not remain open minded and give it a shot? You never know. 

Isn't it similar to dating and falling for someone who's everything you've dreamed of, then finding out they have never been to college? Would you give them the boot for something that you can possibly overlook? Probably not. 

1 comment

Anonymous said...

What I've understood about the common single mothers is that they develop a world of not being anything short of perfect..this in terms pans out to be dubious! Dating a woman with a child is like appying for a job with high requirements with zero hope of becoming anything more than a part time work cause she wont ever love u as much as the man she had a child with or won't let you love her as much as you want because you won't ever be a priority as much as her child or children