SERIAL Relationships are a KILLER

Ask yourself how many SERIOUS relationships YOU THINK you've been in. 1? 2? 10? Before you continue reading, go ahead and count. Then ask yourself how quickly do you get into serious relationships. After 1 month? 6 months? 1 year?

I've been in 2 serious relationships in my life so far. 2. The first was when I was 17 that lasted about a year and a half...young love I tell you lol. The second was when I was 21 that lasted about 3 years and produced my wonderful son :)

Now it's fair to say that what a "SERIOUS RELATIONSHIP" means is very subjective, meaning it's definition is different from one person to the next. So for argument sake, MY definition of a serious relationship is as follows: 

Two people who mutually decide and agree to be EXCLUSIVE with one another and have been together for longer than 9 months. Based on my definition, what has to occur to call a

  1. Two people. Lol. (Unless you are a polygamist but that's a whole different topic for a whole different day)
  2. Mutually decide AND agree. This means that you and the other person sat down and both decided to be in a relationship. No blurred lines. No assumptions. No guessing. I often see situations in which one person thought they were in a serious relationship but the other person is like "um no when did we decide that!?"
  3. Exclusive. Most of you are probably thinking most people cheat in serious relationships so why is this even a factor, right? Well while that may or may not be true, the point here is that it was DECIDED that exclusivity was the goal or going to happen.
  4. Longer than 9 months. I chose the number 9 because it's the average length a woman is pregnant. And if it's long enough for a baby to be developed and carried, than it's long enough to call a relationship "serious".

Seem logical? Now based on ALL 4 points, ask yourself AGAIN and re-count how many serious relationships you've been in. I'm sure that number changed from when I first asked. 

Here's my point. If you have been in more than 10 SERIOUS relationships and you're under the age of 40, then maybe you should reevaluate your relationship habits. 

If you've been in more than 10 relationships and you're under the age of 40, then i'm going to make an educated guess that you've never really taken the time to be single. Mathematically speaking lol. And if you've never taken the time to be single, then that probably means you can't or don't like to be alone, which may signify personal issues. Think about it. We all know that ONE person that's NEVER single and is always in a "serious" relationship. It's like damn weren't you just with so and so? And they're like no it's REALLY serious this time.... YEA OK lmao. It's like the girl or boy who cried relationship.
So what kind of personal issues arise from never taking the time to be single. One, if a person is never single and jumps from relationship to relationship then when do they have time to learn their SELF and what it is they truly want. You spend so much time getting to know OTHER people that you forget about loving yourself, forget about who YOU are, and what YOU like to do. Two, every time you jump from relationship to relationship with no break in between, you leave a golden piece of yourself behind and you begin to lose value. Sounds dramatic I know lol. But it's like having a drink and constantly adding ice to it to try and keep it cold. The drink will will stay cold, but eventually it becomes watery and loses it's flavor. And you ladies and gentlemen, don't want to lose your flavor lol. Three, you begin to carry baggage. Assuming a relationship ended badly or not mutually, you take shit from your previous relationship and bring it to the next one. Sometimes unknowingly! We see it all the time with TRUST issues and it can get really ugly.

So I know a lot of you are saying to yourselves, "does that mean that the man or woman I was with for 5 months, wasn't a serious relationship"? And my answer to that is no. I mean it was a relationship but a SERIOUS one? I think not. More like a "situation" or a trial. You TRIED it, but you didn't buy it. I understand it's tempting to jump in a relationship with someone new who seems perfect. BUT. You have to remember that everything seems perfect in the beginning. And you'll find yourself wasting more time fixing or getting in and out of relationships more than actually being in a quality one you took time to get in. 

So, if you decide you want a relationship with someone, take the time to really get to know them before you decide you want something serious. Otherwise, enjoy your time being single and getting to know yourself. Have fun! Relationships and love are great... but an established form of self-love first is even better!

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